Morbid Comedy Fan Gifts

'He was a bit of a showoff.'

"Ouch! You’re killing me!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'Can I get a box for this?'

Shakespeare Project

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

Will hide my face with this sign for food. ?

"This next song is called - 'I want to kill you'."

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

'Yes Sir, I am at this very minute passing on your recommendations for staff wage cuts to the appropriate department'

"Ah, sweatpants."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

Cards Galore.

'You needn't of bothered, it grows on trees up here.'

"Hold on a second there, Roger; Ken's raised some very good points."

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"I just love take-out."

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

Death Watch

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

One afternoon on mars.

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...'

"Oh, I'm sorry. That procedure isn't covered. Now, spin the wheel to see what you'll pay."