Morbid Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"No, I don't want to take a bloody survey!"

"Before we continue, is there anyone else present who has never seen a dead person?"

Farmer and Widower

Beware of dog sign (dead body with bite taken out of it)

'Barlow must be the dessert.'

"Hello? Is it 911?"

'Oh-oh, rigor mortis... that ain't good.'

Crematorium conveyor - Next Customer

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

'Can I get a box for this?'

"I just love take-out."

Death Watch

"Your morbid curiosity about the afterlife is scaring the children."

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"Mrs. Walsh? Oh, good ... you’re still alive."

"Back in 15 min."

'Bad man... you're a bad man!'

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

'He was a bit of a showoff.'

"Yep...Isn't she a beaut! And just one previous owner."

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"Spoiler alert! You won't be needing those warm clothes."

"Ouch! You’re killing me!"

Death model.

"Just a little bit off the top, please."

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

Mechanic working on a hearse flees from falling skull

'I guess everything tastes a little like chicken.'