Monster Fanatic Gifts

"Bring me a stem cell."

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"Sorry, I'm the Amazing People Watcher. I'm going all I can."

"Trick or trample!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

An Ugly Mummy.

Monster Hankies.

The Real Mummy's Curse

"How on earth did you end up with so many blood types?"

"I feel all tingly."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Dead Funny

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

Myths and legends...

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

Unemployed recession: the irony is killing me

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

Horror Stories.