Money Monitor Gifts

I have a balanced financial portfolio and I keep these plants trimmed. Those are my hedging strategies.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Money exchange

Panama Papers Scandal

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

What is possible and what is probable.

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

'It saves me the trouble of constantly asking myself 'What's my motivation?''

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

'Admittedly, I'm into greed but it's honest greed.'

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Piggy Bank ATM

'Would it kill 'ya to index my birthday check to inflation?'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

'I had a terrible day. . . but the money was good.'