Bond Monitor Gifts

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

"This bond is so boring we gave it a Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z rating."

"Thank goodness I invested in long term bonds!"

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'After looking over your portfolio, I don't think 'enough' will be enough.'

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

"Chasing Investment Yield for Fitness & Profit"

"Sorry, I can't explain why, when interest rates rise, bond prices fall."

'As to bond - while I personally have faith in your client the court cannot ignore the obvious risk of flight.'

The boss is always right.

'I'm switching you from long-term growth stocks to short-term bonds.'

"I'm outa here, guys. Remember, last one out the door takes out the junk bonds."

"I want to switch all my municipal bonds into stocks, my stocks into T-bill and my T-bills into municipal bonds."

"If you hadn't lost everything, I would recommend that you buy now."

"I know you were a car salesman before becoming a bond trader, but we sell bonds in the secondary market, not 'used bonds'."

'To begin with, yoiu'll need assets.'

'You're a bond trader? Don't worry, there's a new drug to treat interest rate sensitivity.'

Inside a trader's brain.

'These new electronic tags are fantastic, they really make it possible for managers to keep track.'

"You were right. I should have split my money between high risk stocks and safe bonds."

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

"Well there's a script and a baddie right there!..."

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!