Bond Buff Gifts

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

"How would you like to dabble in some very high quality junk bonds?"

"I know you were a car salesman before becoming a bond trader, but we sell bonds in the secondary market, not 'used bonds'."

'After looking over your portfolio, I don't think 'enough' will be enough.'

"If you hadn't lost everything, I would recommend that you buy now."

'I'm just here for your Detroit muni bonds.'

'Today, stocks dropped and bonds rose on news that 'One man's meat is another man's poison.'

Investments: Would you be interested in some big, fat Greek high-yield bonds?

"I want to switch all my municipal bonds into stocks, my stocks into T-bill and my T-bills into municipal bonds."

"Sorry, I can't explain why, when interest rates rise, bond prices fall."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

Battery Lighthouse

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

Appointments and Disappointments

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

(Stocks) (Bonds) (Off Wall St.)

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

'I handle commodities and Dietrich here specialises in stocks and bonds.'

Tariff Adjustment

Our 4 Branches of Government

Euro Collapse

'We've found the problem...'

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

'China's on the phone, Mr. President -- they say you're overdrawn.'