Binder Buff Gifts

Appointments and Disappointments

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

(Stocks) (Bonds) (Off Wall St.)

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

'I handle commodities and Dietrich here specialises in stocks and bonds.'

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

'After looking over your portfolio, I don't think 'enough' will be enough.'

The Pocket Knife Tool Belt

'I can see a big camera, but no gun: Let's go!'

"Chasing Investment Yield for Fitness & Profit"

"Sorry, I can't explain why, when interest rates rise, bond prices fall."

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

"I want to switch all my municipal bonds into stocks, my stocks into T-bill and my T-bills into municipal bonds."

"If you hadn't lost everything, I would recommend that you buy now."

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

"I know you were a car salesman before becoming a bond trader, but we sell bonds in the secondary market, not 'used bonds'."

An Autobahn in the form of a farm barn.

Park. Don't fear the animals, try to analyze their motives. Don't be "afraid," be "a Freud"!

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'Madam Zelda sees all'

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

Preparing to paint an un-still life.

"Maybe we should have filed a friend of the court brief, too."

Wild Window Washers

"I think you should turn the water temperature down a bit. The water melted through the tub and then through the floor."

"How would you like to dabble in some very high quality junk bonds?"