Binder Buff Gifts

Appointments and Disappointments

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

(Stocks) (Bonds) (Off Wall St.)

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'After looking over your portfolio, I don't think 'enough' will be enough.'

'I handle commodities and Dietrich here specialises in stocks and bonds.'

'I can see a big camera, but no gun: Let's go!'

"Chasing Investment Yield for Fitness & Profit"

"Sorry, I can't explain why, when interest rates rise, bond prices fall."

The Pocket Knife Tool Belt

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

An Autobahn in the form of a farm barn.

"I want to switch all my municipal bonds into stocks, my stocks into T-bill and my T-bills into municipal bonds."

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

"If you hadn't lost everything, I would recommend that you buy now."

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

"I know you were a car salesman before becoming a bond trader, but we sell bonds in the secondary market, not 'used bonds'."

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

Wild Window Washers

Preparing to paint an un-still life.

'Madam Zelda sees all'

"Maybe we should have filed a friend of the court brief, too."

"I think you should turn the water temperature down a bit. The water melted through the tub and then through the floor."

"How would you like to dabble in some very high quality junk bonds?"

"Leave it alone, Larry...those things are loaded with saturated fat and cholesterol!"