Bonds Buff Gifts

(Stocks) (Bonds) (Off Wall St.)

"Chasing Investment Yield for Fitness & Profit"

'I handle commodities and Dietrich here specialises in stocks and bonds.'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

Playing cards.

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

Appointments and Disappointments

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

'The buildings are merging.'

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

Euro Collapse

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

'After looking over your portfolio, I don't think 'enough' will be enough.'

Tariff Adjustment

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Our 4 Branches of Government

A day at the races

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"Did you have any problems at the design stage?"

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

"Oh, we'll hang Kaiser BIll to the sour-apple tree..."

"Sorry, I can't explain why, when interest rates rise, bond prices fall."

'We need someone on the outside.'

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'