Blender Buff Gifts

Preparing to paint an un-still life.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

'You've had enough.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Florist "Say it with cacti"

Appointments and Disappointments

'The buildings are merging.'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

Poinsettia

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

Vincent Van Goth.

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

The Coffee Tattoo

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

Sheds

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"Did you have any problems at the design stage?"

'Let me know if the fan bothers you...'

Gardening.

Nursery keeps wildflowers in cages.

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

"Look—I appreciate your talking to me, and I know you mean well, but you're boring."

Hope of spring.