Composition Buff Gifts

So typical. Hurry up and wait.

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Of Mice and Men.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

Florist "Say it with cacti"

Plant Parenthood...

A Creature WAS Stirring

Best System in the World

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Pair o' Keats.

"'Talent borrows, genius steals' - that's one of mine, too."

Harp Concerto for Four Hands and Ladder

'The buildings are merging.'

Sergei Taneyev

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

Dante's Undiscovered Prequels

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

Poinsettia

Vincent Van Goth.

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

Succeed