Bond Market Navigator Gifts

'Tomorrow's prices.'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

Board of Directors enter the 'Tunnel of Corporate Love'.

Made in China.

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

The euro currency is a bomb.

"According to the most recent report, we have no recourse but to abandon ship."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

"Chasing Investment Yield for Fitness & Profit"

'We may be bankrupt, but we're not broke.'

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

Ben Bernanke says no recession yet.

"You've heard of the bank that likes to say 'yes' well we're the bank that likes to laugh in your face unless you've got an 80% deposit."

'Congratulations. Your old bloated 401K is now valued as a lean, mean 199F!'

"J.P. will be joining you by speakerphone."

"I know you were a car salesman before becoming a bond trader, but we sell bonds in the secondary market, not 'used bonds'."

'We're going to need a bit more than comfortably off, I'm afraid.'

How to bare up in a bare market.

"I'm here to pay off the last loan installment!"

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all money had been in risk-free bonds."

"I think we'd be lucky to have you taking over even if you weren't untainted."

'You're a bond trader? Don't worry, there's a new drug to treat interest rate sensitivity.'

'And their financial E.K.G. shows that they are in excellent health.'

"I apologize that we disturbed the peace, but this is a very volatile meeting."