Money Launderer Gifts

'We don't have to go on any quiz show. We're millionaires!'

"You're a grown man now, Vincent. Quit bringing me your money to launder."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

You can breed these if the environment is right.

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Don't you ever knock?'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

Man chasing money

"I don't seem to be able to sniff out money like I used to."

"More important than money?! There's only one thing more important than money and that's more money!"

Professional football.

"And you call yourself a socially-responsible investment portfolio!"

'There are articles all over the press about how stress can kill you!'

"Of course there's emotion in business. Has your heart never skipped a beat at the sight of a long string of zeros after a seven."

Rolling Over a Pension.

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

Man chasing a dollar off a cliff

Pizza. Choose your own topping - $2.00 extra. Fifty-dollar bills!

'Enough about your losing portfolio. Let me tell you about my vacation home in the Hamptons...'

'Today, interest rates rose on news that general fear is up, so why not raise interests rates too?'

One day, John found out that not only he could understand animals but his money, too.

'Everyone is so health conscious...But what good is health? It can't buy you money!'

"You must be here for my seminar, 'The Cathedral of Profit'."

'We need to protect ourselves from government surveillance.'

The Tooth Accountant

Stockopolis.

"Could you be more specific than 'some capital to play around with'?"

Running After Cash