Monastery Dweller Gifts

Trappist talk show.

"We always change it when it breaks"

Firemen trying to rescue a monk from a burning monastery

'What are you, some kind of religious nut?'

"Oh, this old thing?"

Quills - Sizes 1-9

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

Amimated illuminated Manuscript

"Straighten up that tonsure."

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

"I've been meditating as hard as I can and nothing happens."

You're supposed to just copy it. The Archbishop says to knock off the ad libs!

'I can't decide if I should go with Derek on a trip around the world on skateboards...or go with Joe and join a monastery in Tibet! What do you think?'

'Every Lent it's the same-I've nothing to give up!'

'Hey! That's new - paternity leave!'

Brother Kevin is wrecking the dorm!

'Answer me! It's your mother! Don't give me that vow of silence!'

"Oh for God's sake Peter, do remove your feet from the table."

'Hey! -- This is supposed to be a spiritual retreat!'

"I could cry when I think of the years I wasted accumulating money, only to learn that my cheerful disposition is genetic."

'It's okay - we're in a safe space.'

Office Parties During the Spanish Inquisition.

"Someone is approaching the house, Mr. Roscoe. Sir."

"I don't think this is my order...or even my species."

Monk and Nut Cracker

Mr. Tappertit's jealousy

Just Hair Pieces

"Excuse me, could you tell me where the little girls' room is?"