Monarch Of Mirth Gifts

King serfs: using peasant as surfboard.

"Garden variety allergies."

Comicron

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Off Duty.

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'I think out quarterly report should call it a 'negative upward trend'.'

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

The velcro ties were in place. The lobstermen would have no idea what hit them.'

"I told you, no "funny business," Anderson."

'What is all the racket up here?!'

It appears the robots have skipped consciousness and gone straight to self-consciousness.

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"All in favour say 'ouch'."

'You didn't go down with shi-ip! You didn't go down with the shi-ip!'

'OK, OK, you got me. YOu just couldn't let it go, could you.'

'Chapter one. Don't waste your money. Don't buy useless crap like this stupid book'.

"And this is one of the nurses who'll be blamed if the surgeon kills your husband."

You have to admin, it's a bold way to test his approval ratings.

"My Kingdom now has an official sponsor."

Periscope sighting

A king watches a hand with spoon rising from a bowl of soup

'When he completed his medical history on the new patient form he decided that he was okay.'

'Being a veterinarian, I know you'll understand, Richard..., you've got downer syndrome.

'Hey, don't feel bad - The world needs buffer states, too!'

"I hate breaking in a new King!"