Mouth Mirth Maestro Gifts

"All in favour say 'ouch'."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

Classic Emojis for sale.

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

"I can't hold it together much longer. . . If Bradley doesn't wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face soon, I swear I'll kill him."

Postman Drops Off Post In Medical Building.

Two men discussing thier moustaches

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

"Working from home. In pajamas. Angry at the world. Filled with anxiety. Nothing is different."

A Dummy Corporation.

"I was so happy after winning the Mood Swing World Champs, I did a victory lap of all the known emotions."

Fifty ways to style your nasal hair.

How to wear a false moustache.

"Meow!"

The Violin Artist

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

Self-portraits

"I'm sorry, but so far medical science hasn't come up with a cure for adolescence."

Cat DNA is decoded.

"I told you, no "funny business," Anderson."

Hipster Ventriloquist Convention

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

Carols