Maritime Mirth Gifts

'You didn't go down with shi-ip! You didn't go down with the shi-ip!'

Periscope sighting

"Garden variety allergies."

Comicron

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Off Duty.

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

Victorian Royal Navy

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'FIRE A... warning shot across her bow.'

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

"By my count, that is the 27th last cast."

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

'Sam's not really a seafaring man but he can yo-ho-ho with the best of them.'

'Hey buddy.Pass that bottle of ketch up here will ya'.'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

The velcro ties were in place. The lobstermen would have no idea what hit them.'

"But I can't help it if I smell 'Fishy'!"

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

"I told you, no "funny business," Anderson."

'They're sure not making Champagne bottles the way they used to.'

"And this is one of the nurses who'll be blamed if the surgeon kills your husband."

"Why is it always snowing in that fish bowl?"

'My husband must be floating on his back - I can hear him snoring!'

"Let's just agree that they're dolphins, not sharks. I don't want to fall out with you."

Cruise industry faces the Italian cruise ship disaster.

'He got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!'

"Hey, honey! I thought of something else you can put on your restraining order."

'A ship! We're saved!'