Momma's Boy Enthusiasts Gifts

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

Open other end

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

Baby on Board

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

'She's the primary caregiver!'

'You dance like my mother.'

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

'Now that I'm King, no more of that 'Eddie' stuff, Mom.'

"Adulits don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAAAH!"

"Now pay attention when mother is speaking, Hubert!"

Single parents.

"Come on Mum, I'm fully grown-up, surely you can let my friend come between you and me safely..."

'We need a man with daring and drive. Do you think your son is this man?'

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

"It's your mother calling."

Mother and Baby

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

I had a very happy childhood, until last week when my mommy kicked me out.

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'