Mom-in-waiting Gifts

Hoping for a boy or girl?

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Late BroomStick

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

Waiting for Pants

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

"The test results show that your baby is healthy, and that she already wants the new iPhone."

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Exercise stroller moms can sure be competitive."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"Mum, we had sex-education at school today: is that really what happened to Daddy?!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

"Six down, three to go!!"

'Have you got any good 'whodunnits'...?'

Please take a number.

The interminable!

'He's lookin' at me!'

'At this rate nine months is going to take forever.'

'Sometimes I think you'll be sorry when the baby gets here.'

A Star is Born.

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

'Well, it all started with a group hug.'