Impatient Mom-to-be Gifts

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

Ask me about my litter! !

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

Sperm Whale.

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

An expecting Flower wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying BUD

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).