Mollusk Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'This is no time for a snail's pace.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Shell Fire

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"I meant the dog!"

Snail Pattern Balding.

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'My dentist recommended it.'

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

"Consider yourself chased."

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"Let us be a city under a hill, for all the world not to see."

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

The greatest love story ever moled.

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

'Success! I've just hacked into a supposedly squirrel-proof birdfeeder!'

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

"There will be other squirrels ... there always are."

"You're compromising the entire operation!"

"So far, I've taught him to fetch."