Mollusk Muse T-Shirts

But if you make his pearls for him, he'll never learn to make them himself.

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Shell Fire

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Snail Pattern Balding.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

The Cona Lisa

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Gardener and the Giant Snail

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

"There were times I wished I was an oyster, but I'm happy as a clam."

Artist studies painting nudes by painting peeled bananas.

Notice - Salt Kills

"Forget it - I've tried it before, and cats can't be enlightened."

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

Small Clams Court

"I put in a skylight and it's made a world of difference."

Cat Annoyed At Mice Developing The Modern Ballistic Missile

'Are you responsible for this?'

"He's not in. Can you crawl back after lunch?"

'Dude, the river is flooding! Get out of here as quickly as you can!'

'Is it going to be good for you?'

"I guess new carpeting was a bad idea."

Snail Homes

"You have a mouse named Juliet."

"Bloody caravans..."

"I hate these tower blocks. . ."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Who, her? She left here weeks ago. . . before you and I even met. She's been on her way home ever since."

Cézanne, Mont Sainte-Victoire