Molluscs T-Shirts

Snail Logic

Snail Man

Shell Fire

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

Snail Pattern Balding.

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

"This wine is CORKED!"

"Our founders built this company on a certain set of principles. But since they're all dead and nobody wrote anything down, looks like we're screwed."

Small Clams Court

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

"There were times I wished I was an oyster, but I'm happy as a clam."

Notice - Salt Kills

Gardener and the Giant Snail

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

"I put in a skylight and it's made a world of difference."

'I have no idea what they are but they give me the heebie jeebies.'

"He's not in. Can you crawl back after lunch?"

"I guess new carpeting was a bad idea."

Snail Homes

'Dude, the river is flooding! Get out of here as quickly as you can!'

"Bloody caravans..."

"Who, her? She left here weeks ago. . . before you and I even met. She's been on her way home ever since."

Society of Mollusc Breeders.

Brother Kevin is wrecking the dorm!

'Wow! She's one gorgeous looking slug!'

"I hate these tower blocks. . ."

Why garden slugs don't migrate south for the winter.

Snail Monster Truck

Abject Snailure

'This is no time for a snail's pace.'

Snail with a Box Shell