Molluscs Gifts

Snail Logic

Snail Man

Shell Fire

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

Snail Pattern Balding.

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

"This wine is CORKED!"

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

"Our founders built this company on a certain set of principles. But since they're all dead and nobody wrote anything down, looks like we're screwed."

Small Clams Court

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

"There were times I wished I was an oyster, but I'm happy as a clam."

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

Gardener and the Giant Snail

Notice - Salt Kills

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

"I put in a skylight and it's made a world of difference."

'I have no idea what they are but they give me the heebie jeebies.'

'Are you responsible for this?'

'Dude, the river is flooding! Get out of here as quickly as you can!'

Snail Homes

"I guess new carpeting was a bad idea."

But if you make his pearls for him, he'll never learn to make them himself.

"He's not in. Can you crawl back after lunch?"

"Bloody caravans..."

"I hate these tower blocks. . ."

Brother Kevin is wrecking the dorm!

'Wow! She's one gorgeous looking slug!'

Society of Mollusc Breeders.

"Who, her? She left here weeks ago. . . before you and I even met. She's been on her way home ever since."

"Proud parent of an honor student? Eh, whatever. Parent of an honorable student? Now that would be impressive."

Snail Monster Truck

Abject Snailure