Modern Psychologist Gifts

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Thinking Gears

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

The Googler

Interdisciplinary studies.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Screen Time vs Book Time

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Mark Zuckerberg

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

'I'd go back if I were you.'

"You're completely screwed up."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

Rodin's THE FEELER

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."