Modern-day Psychics Gifts

"Sorry—that's the screen saver."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Thinking Gears

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

The Googler

Interdisciplinary studies.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

Screen Time vs Book Time

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Quantum Psychic

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Mark Zuckerberg

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

'I'd go back if I were you.'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"You're completely screwed up."

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.