Modern Problem Philosopher Gifts

Jesus forgets to save.

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

The Googler

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Screen Time vs Book Time

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Will follow you on social media for food."

Mark Zuckerberg

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

'I'd go back if I were you.'

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

Rodin's THE FEELER

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

Follow me on Twitter...

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"Remember, it's Boy, Girl, LGBT, Boy, Girl, LG . . ."

Like.

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

'Does a blog count as being published.'

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

Everything opens up as a new day begins.

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.