Modern Problem Philosopher Gifts

Jesus forgets to save.

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

The Googler

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

Screen Time vs Book Time

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

'I'd go back if I were you.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

Like.

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"Remember, it's Boy, Girl, LGBT, Boy, Girl, LG . . ."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

'Does a blog count as being published.'

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

Feel Like A Contributing Member of Society....

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.