Modern Pet Owner Gifts

Man and dog on their hover boards.

"You can have all my treats for a week if you promise not to tell anyone I dropped my phone in the toilet."

"Don't you think he should be in a more progressive dog park?"

A dog drinking water from a bowl labeled "Water with just a hint of lime".

Canine Obedience School. Sitting, rolling over, playing dead, fetching!.. I wish they'd teach us something practical like how to order treats online!

"Better than a hunting dog - she sniffs out wifi hotspots."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Walking Services

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Dog Nightmares

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Haute Suture

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Super Dog'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.