Modern Pet Owner T-Shirts

"You can have all my treats for a week if you promise not to tell anyone I dropped my phone in the toilet."

"Don't you think he should be in a more progressive dog park?"

A dog drinking water from a bowl labeled "Water with just a hint of lime".

"Better than a hunting dog - she sniffs out wifi hotspots."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Dog Walking Services

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'Super Dog'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Haute Suture

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

The day the cat realized it was dependent.