Modern Parent Philosophers Gifts

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"You're welcome."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"He just said his first word!"

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

"Yeah but when will she be home?"

"In the future, son, everyone will be an attorney for fifteen minutes."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'