Fatherhood Philosopher Gifts

"This is Father's Day, not Father Issues Day."

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

'If I really was, do you think the kids would have even bothered to buy me a gift?'

"Sergio, you are the best father in the world. Except, you know, when you're not."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"You're welcome."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"WHich one is mine?"

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

Growth Charts

My daddy ate my homework

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

"Deny it all you want. He looks just like you."

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy lost!"