Modern Mythology Fan Gifts

"On the other hand, Louise N. of Metuchen, New Jersey, only gives you three stars."

Life and Death

Glad Tidings.

'It may be tacky to accept advertising, but how else am I going to raise money to feed you all?'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Bacchus.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Iliadette.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

"I know. But I think I can change him."

Going Down?

'While Dionysus is indisposed, who wants to take over as God of Wine?'

Boy scout replaces Atlas during Bob-a-Job Week.

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'