Modern Myth Fan Gifts

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

The modern day Robin Hood

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

Going Down?

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Life and Death

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"Um, latest update Noah: the Warrumwarbler is now extinct."

"He's So Your Type."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

Viking River Raids

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

"I dropped my goblet!"

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'