Modern Myth Enthusiasts Gifts

"After years of low level burglaries, Robin Hood started to steal from the rich using a sophisticated Ponzi scheme."

Shepherd and eurydice

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Vlad the Impala

Venus

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Here be dragons.

Lady of the bath...

Lesser known greek gods,

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Wotan with eye patch

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Neptune

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Warrior Woman

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!