Modern Myth Enthusiasts Pillows

"After years of low level burglaries, Robin Hood started to steal from the rich using a sophisticated Ponzi scheme."

Shepherd and eurydice

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Vlad the Impala

Venus

Lady of the bath...

Here be dragons.

Lesser known greek gods,

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Warrior Woman

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Wotan with eye patch

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

"Bigfoot"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Neptune

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.