Modern Marvels Lover Gifts

'Well, if they don't go chuff chuff anymore. . . how do they go?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

7 More Dwarfs

"Which one's yours?"

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

Spider boy

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Things move fast round here! Including the new processor!

'Would it kill you to go for a computer upgrade?'

Modern Charm

"You wait twelve month's, and then five come along all at once!"

"I suppose every girl dreams of someday getting a big divorce settlement."

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

Thank You to Vaccinators

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

Ultrasound. . . AKA: Womb Zoom

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

"Oddly enough it looks like you made 98.6 million last year from the talking medical thermometer you invented."

'And someone's been hacking into my online banking!'

Whatever the heck it is, it's built exactly to specifications.