Modern Lover's Guide Gifts

Online Dating For Dummies

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Online Dating

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

Tasty.

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Modern Charm

"Look, all we did was sleep together. I saved watching 'Game of Thrones' for us."

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

Effective Catcalls

"I love you very much, but apparently it's break-up season."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"I'll ALWAYS love you Roger, I'll just be having sex with someone else."

"So - we meet at last."

"But it's supposed to be recreational sex, not guilt sex."

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

"Lady lush has another busy day."

"I'm afraid swiping left doesn't work in here."

"Will you still love me when I outearn you?"

'Brad and I met online, webcast our wedding, took a virtual honeymoon...and now we're divorcing through an online attorney.'

'Roy proposed to me in an email, but my spam filter rejected it.'

"Do you take this person for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness even with a high co-pay?"

'I undertand they met on line.'

"He must be really serious to send you something a permanent as an email."

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"I remember when these two matched on Hinge, casually retweeted quips on Tweitter, lost each other for a bit, slid into Instagram DMs...and here we are at regular texting and marriage."