Modern Love Adventures Pillows

'I just wanna looker for the occasional wife swap party.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Online Dating

'My life coach traded me.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

Tasty.

Cupid and parachutists.

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"When you promised me a lift home...."

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

Husband and wife come out of Tunnel of Love, and man is fishing

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"Look, all we did was sleep together. I saved watching 'Game of Thrones' for us."

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

Effective Catcalls

"I'll ALWAYS love you Roger, I'll just be having sex with someone else."

Cupid's Arrow Misses, and Dog Falls In Love with a Man's Leg.

'I usually don't do online dating.'

The Adventures of Morton

"I love you very much, but apparently it's break-up season."

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

"So - we meet at last."

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

"But it's supposed to be recreational sex, not guilt sex."

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

"I'm afraid swiping left doesn't work in here."