Love Misadventures Pillows

"Am I boring you?"

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"When you promised me a lift home...."

Husband and wife come out of Tunnel of Love, and man is fishing

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

"This guy has no idea what he's doing."

Cupid's Arrow Misses, and Dog Falls In Love with a Man's Leg.

The Adventures of Morton

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

'I hate these romance cruises.'

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

She's a little too friendly.

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

'You forgot our anniversary, but you remember his birthday?'

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

'Well I struck out that time. She says she doesn't drink.'

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."