Love Misadventures Pillows

"Am I boring you?"

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"When you promised me a lift home...."

Husband and wife come out of Tunnel of Love, and man is fishing

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

"This guy has no idea what he's doing."

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

The Adventures of Morton

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

'I hate these romance cruises.'

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

She's a little too friendly.

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

'Well I struck out that time. She says she doesn't drink.'

'You forgot our anniversary, but you remember his birthday?'

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

A hunter shoots what he thinks is a bird, but turns out to be a big 'm'.