Misadventure Lover Pillows

"This guy has no idea what he's doing."

Man Nailed to Wall

A hunter shoots what he thinks is a bird, but turns out to be a big 'm'.

'Please let it be burglars and not the sitter cracking up again!'

'Henry! That's the steak-tenderiser!'

"I spent six months listening to your tapes trying to learn Spanish, and now I find out it was Serbo-Croatian."

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"I'm sure he said to meet him near the cactus."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

'I said, 'Left after the bunny slope! Left!'.'

Parisian Misguided Tours.

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'Sorry about that, Miss Delsey. I guess the boat wasn't sinking after all.'

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

'Frankly, this isn't the sort of Bear contry I was expecting !'

I told you I lost it in the sun.

Cupid's Arrow Misses, and Dog Falls In Love with a Man's Leg.

She's a little too friendly.

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a rhino appeared and charged our vehicle...

'I thought the car was amphibious!'

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

'I hate these romance cruises.'

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

Painting into a corner.

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

'When you said 'arriving by Amazon' - I thought you meant the bleedin' tickets.'

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I'm having second thoughts on fish for dinner."

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

'Now that's what I call a tourist trap.'

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"