Modern Love Adventures Gifts

'I just wanna looker for the occasional wife swap party.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Online Dating

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'My life coach traded me.'

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

Tasty.

Cupid and parachutists.

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"When you promised me a lift home...."

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

Husband and wife come out of Tunnel of Love, and man is fishing

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"Look, all we did was sleep together. I saved watching 'Game of Thrones' for us."

Effective Catcalls

The Adventures of Morton

"I love you very much, but apparently it's break-up season."

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

"I'll ALWAYS love you Roger, I'll just be having sex with someone else."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"So - we meet at last."

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

"But it's supposed to be recreational sex, not guilt sex."

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

"Will you still love me when I outearn you?"