Modern Love Gifts

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'What a bunch of incompetents! -- they matched me with my mother!'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

'True, she is more successful at our open marriage than me...'

Cupid views his online credit rating.

Right click for yes...

"I gotta be me!"

"Mr. Right!"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

Technology and Love

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

Spooning

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I'd love to spend more time with you, Jason, but you're not on my fall schedule."

'Throw in your iPad and you've got a deal.'

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

'We don't text anymore.'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'