Modern Living Commentator Pillows

"An open plan house, has it's down side."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"You are still here."

Peter

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

Early Man Late Man

Daily Routine

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Goodnight Social Media.

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

Our Troubled Chowders

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."