Modern Living Commentator T-Shirts

"An open plan house, has it's down side."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"You are still here."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

Peter

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Early Man Late Man

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

Daily Routine

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Goodnight Social Media.

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

Blues for now.

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

Our Troubled Chowders

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre