Modern Living Critic Pillows

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

To avoid losing his mobile phone George had it chained to the wall

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Sorry we're late. I know we live only two houses down, but our GPS got confused and took us way out of the way."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

"You are still here."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Early Man Late Man

Down With Wikipedia

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

Daily Routine

"Tarzan no want computer."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

Our Troubled Chowders

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."