Modern World Critic Pillows

"Tarzan no want computer."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

Down With Wikipedia

Daily Routine

Early Man Late Man

"AI designed my statue."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

"You do understand that I can only offer you a zero hour contract?"

"I medicate first and ask questions later."

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

A beach has meters.

Medical Bracelet

Pfft! I could do that.

"Power! Power!"

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

"I wish that they would give omg a break. JMJ (Jesus,Mary and Joseph) have a lot more free time."

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'

Kingdom of Heaven- Exact Change Only

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"I forgot to call in dead."