Contemporary Critic Pillows

George Orwell - 2013

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"I think it was an election year."

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.

"AI designed my statue."

'Oh, I think I know exactly what the artist is saying. He's saying; 'With a bit of luck, some idiot will buy this junk'!'

"What next?"

"You do understand that I can only offer you a zero hour contract?"

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

'The way I got it doped out, post-modern man is all context and fragment.'

Primavera (Spring)

Pfft! I could do that.

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

Oil on canvas/oil in barrel.

"I lied in my ad. I hate Wallace Stevens."

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

Marie-Therese Walter

'Apparently he's the first to have copied this particular idea.'

Cartoon Crisis. . . Biden's already causing problems!

'You go ahead. We'll rejoin you when you start using new technology.'

'Someday people will commemorate this moment with exhaustion, overindulgence, and rampant consumerism!'

'Looks like I was wrong. Apparently I can have more loathing for this era...'

'This Valentine's, Ted and I are just giving each other more space.'

Selfie World

"It makes sense when you see the second painting."