Contemporary Critic Gifts

George Orwell - 2013

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"I think it was an election year."

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.

"AI designed my statue."

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

"Of course nobody can make head nor tale of it, but the good news is that it's been nominated for the Turner prize next year."

"You do understand that I can only offer you a zero hour contract?"

'Oh, I think I know exactly what the artist is saying. He's saying; 'With a bit of luck, some idiot will buy this junk'!'

"What next?"

'The way I got it doped out, post-modern man is all context and fragment.'

"I lied in my ad. I hate Wallace Stevens."

Oil on canvas/oil in barrel.

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

Primavera (Spring)

Pfft! I could do that.

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

Cartoon Crisis. . . Biden's already causing problems!

Marie-Therese Walter

'Apparently he's the first to have copied this particular idea.'

'You go ahead. We'll rejoin you when you start using new technology.'

"I hear it's going to be a Walmart."

'Someday people will commemorate this moment with exhaustion, overindulgence, and rampant consumerism!'

'This Valentine's, Ted and I are just giving each other more space.'

'Looks like I was wrong. Apparently I can have more loathing for this era...'

Selfie World