Modern Life Satire Fan Gifts

"Can Hiram call you back? He's adjusting our solar panels."

"You know, there are other emojis."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Snowman Driver

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

Pop star weather report.

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

'We need more cake shows!'

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

Reality TV

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

'Not the Adam Ant!'

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."