Modern Satire Lovers Gifts

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

Life is for the birds.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"She's a miniature."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"It's trickle down."

Standard & Poor

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

Bureaucracy gone mad!

Jack in the box on strike.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Neversource"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

'Are you free at the moment?'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

'So what if few limp-wristed girlie men think we're too extreme!'