Modern Satire Fans Gifts

The New Normal Literature.

"Nobody cares any more."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

End the Winter Blues

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"You calm down."

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Greed.

In my day, they didn

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Telekinetics on strike...

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"So, how's your scary movie?"

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Is your dog friendly?"

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

Recipes for comfort drinks.

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Before he was taken away, Dr. Stuart Trust was the last known doctor to make HOUSE CALLS.

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

War of Words